That choking sound- is of me eating my words

The time has come to say: Moscow is an excellent city for being vegan in, if you during Lent and you know where to look. 

  

Today my plan was to make the most of the brilliant Moscow sunshine and do a tour of the metro stations of the inner garden circle. They’re world renowned for their art, their murals depicting proletarian successes, and there are lots of smiling people carrying rakes. It’s all very rousing and inspirational.

But I got a bit lost owing to me not speaking Russian or reading it very well ( there are no translations on the trains and the tannoy speaks super quickly) so ended back at my default station, Tealtry (or similar). The one where all the theatres are anyhoo.

Realising I was ravenous, I dashed above ground and thought about my options. All my go to restaurants were closed – where else was there? Perhaps Pain Quotidien, of which there are inexplicably many (why Moscow would choose to adopt this random European chain when there are far more exciting ones out there is beyond me) would serve me a slice of bread and jam. 

  

Having found one (really, they seem to be as ubiquitous as Starbucks in London) I found to my sadness that I was unable to get bread and jam, but they did have a lent menu. A lent menu that was pretty much completely vegan- yay for Orthadox countries! 

So I just had granola with soy milk and could have had oatmeal or hummus too. They even have a vegan soup option. 

So, I’m rather puzzled by the whole state of affairs. I’m interested to see whether this is just a lent thing because at Pain Quotidien in London, I don’t think I can eat anything. It’s basically all fondue. (Basically.) 

  

Point of note: they gave me a teaspoon with which to eat my very small bowl of granola. Giving me a tiny spoon to eat my overpriced tiny breakfast is not going to convince me that I’ve suddenly transformed into a giant and I’ve actually got a hearty portion of cereal. But quibbles. 

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To hell with the Wasabi christmas special sushi

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Take that sign down, buddy

Ok, enough. Anybody who knows me knows that I crave sushi most hours of the day. I could eat it for breakfast or supper. I crave the fiery wasabi paste and love the umami flavour from the soy sauce mixing with nori. The palate cleansing pickled ginger is equally good. The chains in London aren’t wonderful, but they do ok sushi. I wrote a post way back when about the top places to buy sushi in London, and this totally still stands: Wasabi, as a chain, are the best.

But their vegetarian Christmas special is beyond disgusting. With flabby pumpkin croquettes and a solitary pomegranate seed placed gingerly on top of the breadcrumb, it’s just a weird combination. Even more strange is the extremely generous helping of Thai Sweet Chilli sauce. What is this shit? Fusion Thai, Japanese, Middle-Eastern Christmas Sctick? It SUCKs-bin it.

Plus, you marketing apes at Wasabi, don’t think just because I’m vegetarian I want to eat this crap. Give me back the massive vegetarian platter for £5.45 and keep your arbitrary christmas themed sushi. Because nobody, nobody in the history of the world has ever gone: “Oh, it’s the 25th of Christmas. Bin the roast potatoes and pudding darling, we’re off to get some Christmas sushi! I hope they still have that single festive pomegranate seed on it! That would really bring some sparkle to my yuletide celebrations!”

So no. Stop it. No.